just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
