Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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