I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
