I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
