My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
