she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
