do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
