Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
