Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
