I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
