Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
