it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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