I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
