got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
