You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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