what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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