just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
