you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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