Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
