Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Bring me that man meat
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
