gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I want a musical about memes.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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