i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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