Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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