no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
