so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
