i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
