i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
