Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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