I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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