Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
