I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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