i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
