I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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