and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
