Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
