He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
