Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
