Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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