Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think i have herpe
just one?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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