He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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