i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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