Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
