I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
