yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We are all done wearing pants today
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
