Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
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