We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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