Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
