pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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