Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Shame is for Republicans.
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