just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
