I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize