I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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