i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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