he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
