you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
