yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
