Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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