we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
