OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
