She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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