How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
