Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
