Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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