hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
bring money and cleavage
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
tell me about the eggs
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
