Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
